Reflections in Patience 

Patience is a value much needed by every counselor. Flexibility in counseling refers to being able to be accepting of our clients and to show unconditional positive regard for them as we are exposed to who they really are as people. Today I was challenged as I sat with a client and listened to her talk through how she was being made to feel by her boyfriend who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She herself suffers from BPD and struggles with impulsiveness, the desire to please others and being overly concerned with how her choices influence others. The intervention I was able to share with my client was my intention to listen effectively as she shared so I could deliberately choose my words so that she would not be unduly influenced by a biased perspective if I did refrain from sharing my opinion. The goal was met when I was able to hear my clients as she talked through her concerns and I was able to repeat the words she chose back to her offering the words she chose carefully clarified without opinion.